From an autistic teenager parent
From a parent
My son was diagnosed with ASD when he was 14 years old. As a toddler, he had some language delays, which I attributed to him being in a trilingual environment. When he was 3 years old, the educators at his daycare remarked that he often stood on the side observing rather than getting involved when animators from the outside came to do dance and theatre classes. Nobody, except me, talked about autism at the time, in fact the daycare providers assured me that he showed no signs of ASD. Instead we were referred to a speech-language therapist who discovered that his linguistic comprehension was at a very low level. The language therapist worked with him until he started kindergarten and he made great progress, to the point where they saw no need for any additional support when he stared school. He went through elementary school without any problems and had a good group of friends. It was only when he started high school that things got really challenging both socially and academically and finally he himself asked to be evaluated for ADHD, which led us to the ASD diagnosis.
If I had known at an early age that my son was on the spectrum, we would have saved ourselves tons of frustrations over the years and would have had a better understanding for his rigidness, refusals to wear clothes that he was not used to, his tantrums when a playdate was over etc, etc. We also would have been able to seek professional help to better prepare him for high school and to work on things which are challenging for him. I knew very little about ASD before he was diagnosed. Over the years, I had seen signs of ASD in my son but I did not understand the implications of being autistic and the challenges and micro aggressions that everyday life poses to an autistic person. I believe my son is good at masking but it eventually led to an autistic burnout where he was no longer capable to go to school or even attend family gatherings. If we had been aware of the diagnosis earlier, I could have read up on ASD, look for support groups, and have started to navigate the system to find resources and help. If you as a parent have just learnt that your child is autistic, you may be overwhelmed with emotion and, possibly, denial or doubt about the diagnosis. I believe however that the fact that you now know that your child is on the spectrum, will allow you to be open to learn more about it and to become better equipped to accompany your child. It does not mean that you need to look for signs that may not be there or that you have to start parenting differently, it will simply widen your horizon.
