{"id":311,"date":"2023-05-11T01:46:17","date_gmt":"2023-05-11T05:46:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/?p=311"},"modified":"2025-10-16T01:01:03","modified_gmt":"2025-10-16T05:01:03","slug":"in-other-words-i-walked-right-into-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/en\/in-other-words-i-walked-right-into-it\/","title":{"rendered":"In other words, I walked right into it."},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-group has-global-padding is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lamaisondelautisme.ca\/profile\/dylan-herve\/profile\">La Maison de l&rsquo;autisme \/ The Autism House<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>11 mai 2023<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>8 min de lecture<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-foo\">Blog Post by CJ James<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-4d4g0\"><strong>\u201cIn other words, I walked right into it.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group has-global-padding is-content-justification-center is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-uagb-image alignleft uagb-block-b728282d wp-block-uagb-image--layout-default wp-block-uagb-image--effect-static wp-block-uagb-image--align-left\"><figure class=\"wp-block-uagb-image__figure\"><img decoding=\"async\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-tara-winstead-8386139-1024x683.jpg ,https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-tara-winstead-8386139.jpg 780w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-tara-winstead-8386139.jpg 360w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 480px) 150px\" src=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-tara-winstead-8386139-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"uag-image-664\" width=\"672\" height=\"448\" title=\"pexels-tara-winstead-8386139\" loading=\"lazy\" role=\"img\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignwide is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\">There have been a lot of changes over the last decade of my life, but one constant. I have been a victim of stalking and cyber-harassment (which is just a very specific form of stalking) for the last ten years. It started in Texas with multiple instances of the same man approaching me in person and online. It continued when I moved to Qu\u00e9bec, though it is exclusively online for now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-bvfq\">As an Autistic woman, this stalking has made my life extremely difficult from an organizational and emotions-management standpoint. For about a year, it also made it difficult to get my Vitamin D. Victimhood is not easy for anyone, but I want to explain how being a victim of stalking is even more complicated for an Autistic person. I will explain how these events have affected me personally, illustrate how it affects my relationships to others, and discuss how the solutions that are available in society are not adapted to the needs of Autistic people.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-chsb4\"><strong>Need for routine<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignwide is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-6l8gq\">One of the first recommendations you will receive when being stalked is to abandon routine and habits. It makes sense. If you use the same path to walk to your car at the same time everyday, then it is easy for someone to learn your routine and insert themselves into it. Same with, say, having a favourite bookstore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-f6tea\">On the contrary, one of the more famous quirks of Autism is our reliance on routines. We aren\u2019t like this just because we want to be difficult; we need predictability to function. Surprises require more on-the-fly thinking, which is a common challenge for Autistic people. I am no different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-b68em\">I need my routine to keep track of my keys, remember to feed my dogs (and myself), and to wake up on time. Without routine, I struggle with the basic-life organization that more normative people call \u201cadulting\u201d. I could not live in an environment where evasion was a daily goal. In the end, it felt like I had the choice between retreating entirely or living with regular, dangerous interruptions due to stalking. I chose to retreat to another country. It gives me room to breathe, but it still negatively affects me \u2013frequently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group has-global-padding is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-5goj9\"><strong>Difficulty reading danger<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignright size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"525\" data-attachment-id=\"660\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/en\/pexels-nejc-kosir-340926\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-nejc-kosir-340926.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"5574,2856\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"pexels-nejc-ko\u0161ir-340926\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-nejc-kosir-340926-1024x525.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-nejc-kosir-340926-1024x525.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-660\" style=\"aspect-ratio:1.950566809143282;width:720px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-nejc-kosir-340926-1024x525.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-nejc-kosir-340926-300x154.jpg 300w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-nejc-kosir-340926-150x77.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-nejc-kosir-340926-768x394.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-nejc-kosir-340926-1536x787.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-nejc-kosir-340926-2048x1049.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignwide is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-7mmb7\">Another difficulty that\u2019s somewhat unique for Autistic stalking victims is that reading the danger of a situation is very context-specific and can be confusing. Behaviour that makes sense to an Autistic person can be very dangerous coming from other people. For example, when I was bullied as a child, I kept getting up and repeatedly put myself in situations where I could have been rejected. Over practice (and some help from puberty), I developed the social skills that garnered me a minor, but peaceful social existence. For me, I respect when people try again and again, but in this case, it is not healthy nor respectful. That said, it took me years to recognize that I was being stalked because, to me, he was just trying <em>really hard<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-1ir3s\">Another example of this is a lot more harrowing now that I am aware of the connotations. One time, around one in the morning, he confronted me in my apartment complex\u2019s laundromat. For me, I was overwhelmed by the hyper-social nature of Texas social norms, so the surprise that someone was hiding in the dark for me was no different than the stress I experience when someone else is using the laundromat at the same time as me. I just didn\u2019t want to engage in small talk or anything like that. Both situations were annoying in an overwhelming sense, but I had to cope with being overwhelmed all the time.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-uagb-separator uagb-block-c8d3a2eb\"><div class=\"wp-block-uagb-separator__inner\" style=\"--my-background-image:\"><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"750\" height=\"563\" data-attachment-id=\"587\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/en\/339933236_194562293331328_984411082464144683_n\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/339933236_194562293331328_984411082464144683_n.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"750,563\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"339933236_194562293331328_984411082464144683_n\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/339933236_194562293331328_984411082464144683_n.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/339933236_194562293331328_984411082464144683_n.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-587\" style=\"width:668px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/339933236_194562293331328_984411082464144683_n.jpg 750w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/339933236_194562293331328_984411082464144683_n-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/339933236_194562293331328_984411082464144683_n-150x113.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignwide is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-6f9e3\">Before I even realized that I like being closer to the door than the people around me (I also have PTSD), I had \u201dplayed it cool\u201d to the point that I was further into the laundromat than he was, making him closer to the door than me. In other words, I walked right into it. Keep in mind that this is Texas. It\u2019s a violent place and he, later on, threatened my life. What sort of weapons or intentions resided in him? No one knows because, in my attempt to play it cool, I eventually got him talking. I learned that he was there because he was obsessed with me and he was moving away in a few weeks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-bu0ol\">He had envisioned meeting me as a last hurrah. I have no idea what would have happened if I hadn\u2019t pretended to want his number. Certainly he\u2019s so unstable that even he doesn\u2019t know what he intended if I openly blew him off. That said, the danger inherent in a \u201clast hurrah with a woman you\u2019ve been obsessed with for many years\u201d did not occur to me until about a year after I walked out of there. My avoidance for the year after that event was simply my frustration with unexpected social interactions. About the same time I realized the danger I had been in was about a month after he started making unsolicited comments to me about having a gun. I was like a lobster in boiling water.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignright size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" data-attachment-id=\"662\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/en\/pexels-pixabay-60504\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-60504.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"4576,3051\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"pexels-pixabay-60504\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-60504-1024x683.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-60504-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-662\" style=\"width:680px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-60504-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-60504-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-60504-150x100.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-60504-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-60504-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-60504-2048x1365.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignwide is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" id=\"viewer-7m59s\"><strong>Strategies that don\u2019t make sense on first impression<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-1ufq6\">Another thing that affects stalking victims is that their strategies of stalker-management rarely make sense on first glance. Experts in the field themselves do not agree on how to manage prolonged cyber-harassment, so victims often have to make their own decisions about how they want to manage the threat.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignwide is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-10m2u\">I have years of evidence of his stalking and harassment due to my strategies, but it\u2019s really hit-or-miss if I am able to explain the methodology to another person. When making my strategy, I just did not care how it looks to other people, so I allowed cyber-harassment on my public posts from a single Facebook account of his for one main reason: the harassment doesn\u2019t stop when I block him and it\u2019s easier to prove all the harassment is coming from the same person if I allow him one account that I do not block.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-6gda6\">I\u2019ve since abandoned this strategy because it was causing social rifts with people perceiving me as \u201cletting it happen\u201d or \u201cwanting it\u201d. Because I am on the spectrum, and because this factoid was public knowledge, people were highly critical of my management strategies, rather than accepting that I had consulted experts and built my own expertise. Ultimately, I just wanted good evidence to put this devil-on-my-back away for a long time and I did not care how other people perceived it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-uagb-separator uagb-block-7c1ee509\"><div class=\"wp-block-uagb-separator__inner\" style=\"--my-background-image:\"><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" id=\"viewer-rcs3\"><strong>Difficulty communicating<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-cgih9\">I\u2019ve already hinted at this a little, but stalking is already a difficult crime to communicate because the danger comes from the fact that it\u2019s not a single occurrence. Additionally, there\u2019s some classical conditioning that happens. Not every act of stalking is sinister on its face. However, every act is a reminder that the sinister acts of stalking did happen, could happen again, and might escalate. What a stalking victim feels is not easily communicated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" id=\"viewer-dsrni\"><strong>\u2026With police<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-bi7av\">If you\u2019ve read this far, you\u2019ve probably wondered if I\u2019ve ever contacted the police. There may even be a few comments from people who didn\u2019t finish reading this who are convinced that this would not happen if I had just contacted the police. Sadly, people\u2019s reactions to this crime I experience are becoming more and more predictable to me. However, I did actually try to talk to the police about this crime. A lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignleft size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" data-attachment-id=\"663\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/en\/pexels-pixabay-532001\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-532001.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"6000,4000\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"pexels-pixabay-532001\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-532001-1024x683.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-532001-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-663\" style=\"aspect-ratio:1.4992797755932374;width:819px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-532001-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-532001-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-532001-150x100.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-532001-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-532001-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-pixabay-532001-2048x1365.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignwide is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-35sob\">There are significant communication differences between what police expect from a victim and what comes out of an Autistic victim. There\u2019s a<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/link.springer.com\/chapter\/10.1007\/978-3-030-70913-6_7\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u> book<\/u><\/a> and a lot of academic papers about it. In some countries, such as the UK, due to these differences, an Autistic victim can ask for an <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.autism.org.uk\/advice-and-guidance\/topics\/criminal-justice\/criminal-justice\/professionals\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u>investigator<\/u><\/a> to report to who is specially trained to communicate with Autistic victims.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-1qopl\">I would love to see something like this in Quebec, as I\u2019ve had mixed experiences reporting my stalker\u2019s activity here. Sometimes they are very understanding, but one time I got dragged out instead of being allowed to report the crime occurring against me. As a result, I have a deal with my <em>\u00e9ducateur sp\u00e9cialis\u00e9<\/em> where he goes with me to the police station to report my stalker\u2019s more sensational threats.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-2vcfu\">I can\u2019t imagine still having this problem in Texas, where I am from. There are no <em>\u00e9ducateurs\/\u00e9ducatrices sp\u00e9cialis\u00e9.e.s<\/em> in Texas, but they should not be needed anyway. I am lucky that, right now, the stalking behaviour is exclusively cyberharassment, which is Criminal Harassment in Canada, a serious crime punishable by up to 10 years in prison. This lack of urgency, due to the distance, means that I can wait a few days after I receive an especially salient threat for my <em>\u00e9ducateur sp\u00e9cialis\u00e9 <\/em>to be available to go to the police station with me. If the threats were occurring in person, I would not have the time to wait and we would be back to the same problem. For a whole year in Texas, when the stalking escalated to in person contacts, I left my house as little as possible out of fear, cutting me off from sunlight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-c0p3s\">While still in Texas, I tried interacting with the police through a very helpful women\u2019s shelter, but they had no knowledge of Autistic communication so they did not really understand the problem either. It did not help that their funding comes from domestic violence grants and I never dated this man who is stalking me. Autistic crime victims need more than just helpful people, though they do <em>help<\/em>; we need specialized support when we go to report to the police.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" id=\"viewer-da9d7\"><strong>\u2026With friends and care workers<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-2u9f8\">There are social challenges in just being an Autistic person, but stalking adds another layer. I often feel like I am on trial as a victim with the people around me such as friends, acquaintances, and care workers. There\u2019s high stakes to strike the right tone with your victimhood\/survivourness and absolutely no one to learn it from. This means that minor grievances, such as the way I give walking directions, can transform into full critique of my life, such as the way I manage my victimhood, quite rapidly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-8r6u2\">Everyone has an opinion about how they would handle it if they were you. It\u2019s hard enough to be a victim of a serious crime with heavy psychological effects on my person, but there is an extra layer that comes from people criticizing my decisions, good ones and faults, as everything is under a magnifying glass. This is an extra social challenge to negotiate. No one wants their decisions under a magnifying glass, especially as a result of a crime. As an Autistic person, additional social challenges can feel like an insurmountable mountain. It has been much harder to build my new circle of friends here in Qu\u00e9bec as a result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\" id=\"viewer-3i0t2\"><strong>Sensory issues and communal shelters<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-d4scg\">Lastly, stalking victims are often pushed to start over in the shelter environment. This is because starting over is <em>very spendy<\/em>, but, even when you\u2019re not disabled, stalking conflicts with generating income. The emotional experience of stalking is another weight on your \u201cadulting\u201d skills and the act of stalking often interferes with employment. Thus, the free shelter enters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-7s82b\">But there\u2019s a huge caveat. Autistic people can be too sensory sensitive and socially different to survive in communal environments (without other Autistic people).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignright size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" data-attachment-id=\"657\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/en\/pexels-george-pak-7969099\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-george-pak-7969099.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"3360,5040\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"pexels-george-pak-7969099\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-george-pak-7969099-683x1024.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-george-pak-7969099-683x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-657\" style=\"width:653px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-george-pak-7969099-683x1024.jpg 683w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-george-pak-7969099-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-george-pak-7969099-100x150.jpg 100w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-george-pak-7969099-768x1152.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-george-pak-7969099-1024x1536.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/pexels-george-pak-7969099-1365x2048.jpg 1365w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignwide is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-47kes\">While some shelters can place a person in a private room, crowding and understanding are barriers. Most shelters do not recognize the specialized needs of Autistic people well enough to accommodate them. Personally, I could never have started over if I hadn\u2019t been especially good at crowdfunding and then also had some seriously lucky outcomes. One time, when I was a homeless new arrival in Trois Rivi\u00e8res, the CLSC paid for me to stay in a cheap motel for the weekend and then placed me (and my dogs) in supported Autistic housing the following Monday. This was especially lucky because I had nowhere to go, crowdfunding was in a lull, and staying at the only shelter in town was also not an option. One of the many reasons why I volunteer my writing to Autism House is because they are aware of the Autistic community\u2019s specialized housing needs and their goal is to eventually provide it. I think that will save lives we haven\u2019t even heard about yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-justify wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-np67\">Overall, stalking is a difficult crime whether or not you are Autistic and this review of our unique challenges as stalking victims is not intended to downplay other stalking victims. It is always hard and there is always someone who has survived worse. Before the 90s, neither stalking nor Autism were widely recognized, but the confluence of the two has some unique traits that, frankly, suck. Every year, both issues gain general awareness in the global zeitgeist. I hope that this work can make a meaningful contribution to both as well. Please share!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Blog Post by CJ James \u201cIn other words, I walked right into it.\u201d There have been a lot of changes over the last decade of my life, but one constant. I have been a victim of stalking and cyber-harassment (which is just a very specific form of stalking) for the last ten years. It started [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":270503461,"featured_media":664,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"wp-custom-template-articles-blog","format":"standard","meta":{"give_campaign_id":0,"_crdt_document":"","_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false},"categories":[782149508,782149510,782149512,273,5128],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ancien-blog","category-anglais","category-autiste","category-blog","category-texte"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>In other words, I walked right into it. - Maison de l&#039;Autisme<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lamaisondelautisme.ca\/en\/in-other-words-i-walked-right-into-it\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"In other words, I walked right into it. - Maison de l&#039;Autisme\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Blog Post by CJ James \u201cIn other words, I walked right into it.\u201d There have been a lot of changes over the last decade of my life, but one constant. 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Post by CJ James \u201cIn other words, I walked right into it.\u201d There have been a lot of changes over the last decade of my life, but one constant. 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